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Soloists

by Ben Eisenberger

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1.
I just fall through the air sometimes, doing everything I please. But it’s hard to keep up a facade when I have no apologies. I hate that I act so wild when I meet someone that’s right, but it’s hard for me to keep it together. If you ever change your mind, babe - try not to waste my time, babe. You just keep doing what you’re told - but our friends are getting old and we’re running out of life, babe. As we watch the madness unfurl, it’s a sad and lonesome, cold world. I just want you to be mine - never mind, I’m fine - don’t ever change your mind. I can’t play it cool at all, sending pictures with my friends. But he constantly wastes my time, acting so damn indifferent. So easy to fall for someone I barely met, but I know I’m all about it. I don’t how to react, babe - when we always walk the gap, babe. But it keeps me hanging on - the old me’s dead and gone, and he’s never coming back, babe. We still watch the madness unfurl - still a sad and lonesome, cold world. Still want you to be mine - never mind, I’m fine - don’t ever change your mind.
2.
Caught you in an afterthought - departed positivity. Burning for your call, burn your way to me. Took you down that country road - the way I felt explicitly burned into my mind. Burned inside of me. But you know that I’m a wanderer - I fixate on uncertainty. But everywhere I go I carry you with me. How’s it there in your hometown - ten thousand miles across the sea? Just hoping that you know you’re everything to me. No matter taking it slow when we’re swallowed by undertow. And if you don’t want to know, then leave for another show. I got nothing to hide - it’s amazing how love can die. But if you don’t want to try, then I’ll see you on the other side.
3.
What’s it like to be in love? Is it everything that I’ve been dreaming of? When I see it in my friends, it makes me feel awkward and different. And it is slow to come in clear - that in this town I’m still a stranger here. But then I see it in my dreams, where my disappointment's never as it seems. Follow the brightest star in the sky, but are you ever asking why? Follow the brightest star in the sky until the beauty makes you cry. Follow the brightest star in the sky - don’t let the good life pass you by. What will it take for me to love? Is it a cool mind paired with minor social buzz? I am always playing fate - it’s a thing that I have learned to come to hate. Am I still crazy to pretend that in this town I’m finally at my end? But I still see him in my dreams, where my disappointment’s always as it seems.
4.
On and On 03:01
Writing away, searching for my thing to say. Biding all my time ‘til my dollar manic day. Painful but true, but I wouldn’t want to lecture you. Suicidal apathy, it was real enough for me. Calm it down but honestly, I think I need some sleep. Calling to you, made an effort through and through. Give me one good reason to trust the greater two. With less saying and more do, but that never seemed to interest you. Judging them by what you see - simple, lazy pageantry. Calm it down but honestly, I think you need some sleep. On and on, ‘til my thoughts make waves beyond the sun, and I wind up feeling sorry for myself. On and on, never mind the eyes of everyone, and I wind up down the disappointing route. Now that I’m here, I would hate to be sincere. Never mind opinion, the cancellation’s clear. There’s not a day that I wouldn’t want to fade away, ‘cause everyone’s so split-screen fake; Artificial second-take; Uneducated, half a bake. It’s all a waste.
5.
This is It 01:29
6.
Soloists 04:33
“Time’s not for wasting” - it is often said. Never to believe your own progress. Patiently waiting, wake me from the dead. Trying to avoid all their compliments. ”I know the meaning” - it is often said. Never to believe they’re all con men. “Context” they’re crying, metaphor unread. Struggle to make sense of the substance. Lying when you know it’s true. Friends all feeling bad for you. Who knows how to do it when you do? But caught in a daydream, or sneaking out of bed? Never to believe we’re all soloists. When they prey on your age - that’s a sad, shameful, bitter charade. And how you channel your hate is the most useful weapon to make. “I’m not believing”, that’s so often said. Never to agree on the far end. Figuratively playing our best hand wouldn’t be the worst that could happen. But too many will never try, wait for life to pass them by. But your enemies will weaponize that lie.
7.
Scrolling hours away - life so wasted and fake. And I hope someone could connect, but I’ll never learn to accept the ones always transient for depth. I find them so stunning, and yet... He was so unassuming. Glowing like the sun. Rather convincing since he never really liked me none. But thanks for the memories, even though it’s only fun. He comes from wide open spaces, but that’s just where my family’s from. Keeping me in check by responses I felt. See potential in hell. Always doubting myself. But I’ll try to remember I’m fine. When I’m on some other level, yeah I... I was acting erratic. Drinking all the time. Obsessing with my ego but still burdened by the hands of time. But it’s a new beginning, even though mine’s slow to come. Yeah he comes from wide open spaces, but that’s just what I’m running from. When you see me laughing, acting like I care. Weighing all my options, but still down when I don’t see you there: Thanks for the memories - even though you’re not the one. Yeah, you come from wide open spaces, but I’m a prisoner of the sun. Yeah, you come from wide open spaces, but I know your journey has just begun.
8.
Save what I was rationed of. Lost in love, given from above. Not such pleasures I could make time for - there was all, creeping in the mass. Now we’re both just victims of circumstance - do a little dance for me. Like I could not give my soul - it was small, looming in the past. Taken all for granted of post and next - moving past the rest, slowly. Calling on my nameless souls - never told me I had to act. But now we’re all just victims of circumstance - do a little dance for me. Given all we had to bear, there was not nothing else to fare.
9.
Johnny 03:37
He’s a man of honor and integrity. Oh would you make sense of what he said to me? Can you imagine him scared as he’ll ever be, when we finally bring him to the sea? There’s a genius shrouded in depravity. His body at the bar defies gravity. In a goth, drug-induced, depressive comedy - oh a never met a man quite like Johnny. Drive to Austin overnight for artistry, oh would you pray for every part of me? Making friends by our addictive qualities and relying on muscle memory. Shooting beer cans, gambling, and sodomy. Oh Johnny was the scourge of society. Will we ever consume all of his property? Oh I never met a man quite like Johnny. Good intentions leading to debauchery - the fleeting life of stale, small-town harmony. Can’t imagine a life past the promising of the paradise we’re supposed to be. We can live in happiness and poverty - oh, on the late-night chase of prosperity. But I’ll always be there when he calls to me. Oh I never met a man quite like Johnny. Oh I’ll never trust a man quite - I’ll never find a man quite - I never met a man quite like Johnny.

credits

released December 11, 2020

recorded by Adam Roberts, Ben Eisenberger
mixed by Ben Brodin
mastered by Thomas Flaherty
arranged by Ben Eisenberger

Heidi Copeland - violin (A3, B3)
Colin Duckworth - pedal steel (A1, A2), electric guitar (B2), mandolin (B5)
Ben Eisenberger - acoustic guitar, vocals, banjo (B4), electric guitar (B4), mandolin (B4, B5)
Michaela Favara - vocals (A1, B5)
Michael Frederickson - upright bass (A1, A4, B2), Hammond organ (A1), Rhodes piano (A3)
Carlyn Hendler - flute (A4)
Dryden Thomas Meints - keyboards (A1), violin (A1)
Scott Murphy - violin (A5)
Sam Perkins - violin (A3, B3)
Jacob “Cubby” Phillips - electric guitar (A2, A3)
Nate Van Fleet - percussion (B2)
Joye Van Trimmell - cello (A3, B3)

cover photo by James Lathrop
cover design by Samantha Novak

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Ben Eisenberger Omaha, Nebraska

melancholy midwest acoustic

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